Terrorist attack

News has just come in that the United Nations conference which was being held for the first time in the continent of Afrikanaas has been attacked by some terrorists. The terrorists are currently holding about 200 people as hostages. They have threatened to kill them if their demands are not met by tonight. The United Nations has just now called an emergency meeting in New York to decide the course of action which needs to be taken. They are debating that whether they should attack the terrorists while putting the life of the hostages at risk or not. It is said that some countries are in favour of acceding to the demand of the terrorists instead of attacking them.

UN meeting, New York
The various countries are voicing their opinions one by one

China
The terrorists should be immediately attacked and neutralized. We should not care one bit about the number of hostages who are going to die. It is not because of our fault that they are in this situation. The hostages who die in this battle will be considered as martyors and we will provide ample compensation to their family members.

France
We are not really concerned about this problem. We will go with the collective decision of the General Assembly. We have much more pressing issues to discuss such as Carla Bruni’s previous lovers and Paris Hilton’s new tapes.

Israel
We should try to save the hostages while attempting to kill the terrorists. In case some hostages are killed, we will count their number. If they are less than the number of terrorists killed, then it is okay. Otherwise we will find the difference and then kill that many people of the organization to which these terrorists belong. We have been following this trick for a long time and it is very successful. It teaches the terrorists their lesson and nobody will be able to call us brutal.

United States
We should attack the terrorists without caring about the hostages. As our experience says, we will most probably fail in foiling their attempt. If we fail, we will attack the country to which these terrorists belong.

Britain
We will go along with the decision of the United States

African Countries
We will go along with the decision of the country which gives us maximum aid. Since right now it is United States, we will stick to them

Pakistan
They are terrorists and our enemies in the war of terror. We should immediately attack them. We will like to assure the General Assembly that Pakistan will help the United Nations forces in whatever way possible to overcome the terrorists
(Sideways to his aides: Tell the terrorists that they are going to be attacked and negotiate with the United Nations about the sum of money which we will get in return for helping them)

India
There is no need to ward off their attack. Don’t accede to their demands and let them do whatever they want. They will automatically go back after plundering. We have been following this strategy for many years. In our entire history, people have come, plundered, killed our people and then gone back but it has never affected us. Whether it is Muhammed Ghaznavi or the British or the Mughals or the terrorists now, nobody can accuse us of violence. In fact, some of them after plundering us became a part of our culture. These terrorists might also after getting their wishes fulfilled decide to settle in Afrikanas and become a part of it. So, we will advise you not to do anything about it. We should neither attack them nor accede to their demands.

South Korea
Since none of the countries involved in the conflict is a Muslim country, we will like to remain out of this matter.

Japan
We should try and talk with the terrorists. We have started believing in non-violence after World War 2 and are of the view that dialogue is the best way of solving a conflict between two parties. An attempt should be made to make the terrorists understand that they are treading a wrong path. They will ultimately drop their weapons after realizing their mistake. However if you do decide to attack them, we will like to make it clear that we will not be a part of it. On safety grounds, we will not fire ammunition in any country except ours.