Bush – Congrats, Mr Black president
Obama – Thankyou, Mr son of a republican
Bush – I know I am leaving the country in quite a mess for you, but please take care of it.
Obama – Oh, yeah. I will. Don’t worry. I will immediately start reversing all your decisions.
Bush – Thanks, I couldn’t because I was the one who made them.
Obama –Yeah, I know
Bush – I have heard you are appointing Hillary Clinton as Sectary of State. Won’t you have problems working with her. She has her sights set on your job.
Obama – Wtf do you meanby that? When your father was in White House, did you have your eyes set on his job? Besides if she has, it’s natural. We are entering the generation of family politics like India. There an ex-prime minister’s son, daughter, wife, daughter-in-law and first or second cousins are the first ones to bid for the post.
Bush – Oh on the subject of India and Pakistan, remember some things. Do send copies of all your communication with Indian prime minister to Sonia Gandhi and never take a tour of Pakistan. For any communication, invite the Pakistani president to America. He loves coming here.
Obama- Thanks for the tip. I will certainly follow this advice. What about Middle East? How should I conduct myself there?
Bush – Oh, in whatever country you go, just follow some simple guidelines. As soon as you step in the country, start abusing Israel. Say how unprofessional, filthy and cheap they are. Follow this up by giving all Arabs you meet some expensive gifts. Also make sure that you praise all the expensive stuff they are wearing. Tell them about some new products which cost over 1 million dollars and are possessed by very few. This will give them something to buy and play with so that they can pass their time.
Obama – Ok. So did u follow my campaign?
Bush – Yeah, on internet. It was kind of cool. I mean you are a star right now. You know, I had convinced some Republican senators to vote for you. After eight years of bad decisions, I think now America deserves some good decisions.
Obama – Thanks. Guess what, last elections I had voted for you. I was sure that in next four years, you will surely make decisions which will help in strengthening people’s dislike for Republican Party and it will help my candidacy.
Bush – Thanks. I hope you will enjoy your stay in White House. It’s quite big.
Obama – Oh yeah, it seems to be. It seems it is made for Lalu ji’s family. Oh, Lalu ji is my politician friend from India. He has 9 or 10 children.
Bush – What crap, man. It will be big for him also. The only family whom I can think of for which it might have been unappropriately small is Obama’s family.
Obama – Yeah, guess you are right. Tell me, what should I do about Cuba?
Bush – Oh, that old fag. Keep sending him stuff. He is hell bent on making it to 40,000.
Obama – Cool. Any tips on how should I conduct myself in White House.
Bush – Oh, yeah. Always make sure that nobody enters the room in which you have kept your Cuban cigars. Never let anybody see you in your boxers. Every servant here is on the payroll of a newspaper. So, just talk on the dinner table about whatever you want to be published in the newspaper. Keep away from the interns here. Bill Clinton gave me that tip when I was assuming office here. So, I am passing it to you. Apart from that, sleep whenever you have free time because this is a 24 hour job.
Obama – Thanks a lot, man. I am not sure what blunders I would have committed without your advice.
Bush – It’s okay. Have a good term. I am writing a book on my term here. There, I might also criticize your policies. So, don’t take it to heart.
Obama – I won’t. Write whatever you want. After all, I am also done with my fair bit of criticizing your policies.
Bush – Thanks. Catch you later. Bye
Obama - bye
Sunday, February 1, 2009
Obama takes over from President Bush
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
On Alltop
There is some good news for all the readers. This blog has been added to alltop's India page as is evident by the newly displayed badge. I will like to take this occasion to thank all my readers for their constant support and encouragement.
Leia Mais…A Tutorial on how to create an ad for matrimonial section in Indian newspapers
A matrimonial ad is a perfect example of clever marketing and buying. On one hand, you are selling your ward (ward is a brand which is being marketed) while on the other hand, you are buying your groom( Groom is a product). Therefore, on one hand you have to mention all the good qualities of your ward as a marketer while on the other hand, you have to list all the attributes you want in the product which you are buying. Forging a good ad is a highly complex process and would have simulated marketers like Seth Godin to great levels. So, to solve the problems of the prospective parents who are looking to marry their daughters, here is a quick guide on how to create a compelling ad.
Always start your ad by mentioning that your daughter is fair and beautiful. If you don’t write these words, it will create suspicion in the minds of prospective suitors. They are so used to watching these words on each ad that in their absence, they will immediately move on to the next ad. Remember no matter how dark and ugly the suitor is, he always wants a fair wife.
This should be followed by the education of the girl. In case your daughter is convent educated, mention this fact explicitly. This is one of the most desirable qualities in a girl. Her professional qualifications if any should also be mentioned. In dearth of these qualifications, you can mention the short summer courses she did in summer. (“Short course in jewellery and e design”)
Follow this up by talking about her father’s occupation. This is important since it will give the boy an instant clue about how much dowry is possible and he will take appropriate follow up action. In case, you want to make your case stronger, you can give a hint by mentioning “decent marriage assured”. “Living in own flat”, “High profile” are other such cues which will carry the message across.
The next important attribute is height. In case, she is between 5’ and 5’ 4”, just mention tall. In all other cases, it is better to mention the height explicitly. This dilemma is created by the average height of Indian boys. They like girls two or three inches shorter than them. Anything above 5’4” will start approaching them uncomfortably .Mentioning it when it is below 5 is self explanatory.
To further put weight on your ad, you can use words like loving, caring, cultured etc. Statements like “adept in the works of home” etc also will multiply the chances of your ad reaching the prospective suitor.
The next portion of the ad specifies the attributes of the required groom (the buying portion). These attributes can generally be classified in the criteria given below. You can choose the criteria and implement conditions from these according to your own requirements.
1.Caste - (Only high clan Rajputs preferably Rathore, Tomar, Bhadouria, Jardon, Shekhawat and likewise should apply)
2.Income – It is always mentioned in figures. Two most common statements are “preferably earning a six figure salary” and “only high net worth individuals need respond”
3. Visa – Example :“Only green card holders” or “well settled in USA” or “qualified from reputed college of USA” need to apply
4.Education – “IIT/IIM” or “doctor” or “civil servant” are the most common examples. Ina way, they are better since they cover the income point of view also while stressing on the education.
5.Eccentric demands – Some demands are really very cool. Here are a few of them “ height between 5’7” to 5’10” “, “ good resume”, “highly professional man”, “open minded” , “fashionable” etc.
I will like to end this tutorial with an example of a perfect ad. Here is an ad which shows immense marketing and buying potential:-
“Our daughter just turned 26, 5’4”, LSR Grad in Psycho, masters in management from UK, people say is exceptionally beautiful and charming, with brilliant sense of humour, intelligent with deep understanding of life, developed human and aesthetic sensibilities, immensely creative, excellent actor with entrepreneurial capabilities, brought up in a broad minded business family with confluence of family, social and human values. Looking for a well educated, intelligent (with IQ over 130) Rajput groom with sound business background or a professional from IIT/IIM or other world class institutions, who could bring happiness in family and world around”.
Whoa!! Can you resist it?
