2008 Round Up - Movies, Books, Songs

Continuing with our round up of the past year, we also take a look at the best which the entertainment industry had for us on offer in this past year. So, here is a list of the best books, movies and songs of past year

FEATURED BOOKS OF YEAR 2008

1.The White Tiger by Aravind Adiga

We finally have a book which actually belongs to the genre “The Dark Humor”. Dark humor is a very difficult thing to get right. If you are slightly short or ahead of the mark, the writing will appear mean and motivated by personal propaganda. Anyways, Arvind adiga, who has been nicknamed “ the servant”, gets it just right.

2.3 Mistakes of my life

This second mistake of Chetan Bhagat tells you that how important it is to know as to where to stop. Unfortunately, Chetan Bhagat continues from where he left off in his last book to dish out another bad story in an incoherent manner

3.Imagining India by Nandan Nilekani

This book has full potential to feature among the “50 all time great books which you can’t finish”. It is a written copy of the boring speech which you heard that big shot give last week at your college.

FEATURED MOVIES OF YEAR 2008

1.Tashan

The masala potboiler. The beginning of the off screen Saif- Kareena love story and subject of a lot of g-talk statuses. Nonsense glorified and personified. Highlight of the movie - Bachan using stones and wood as springboards to jump to thrice his height.

2.Love Story 2050

This has showed the consequences of releasing a movie before time. However, we can expect its sequel which will be directed by Rakesh Roshan’s grandson and released in year 2050 to be a great success.

3.Drona

The director and script writer of this movie should clear some of their concepts – there is no sea in the middle of a desert, mummies don’t cry and you can’t find places where half the people are wearing 16th century clothes and other half are wearing 20th century clothes. And yeah, most importantly for making a movie, you need a story

FEATURED SONGS OF THE YEAR 2008

1.Tandoori Nights

“If loving you is wrong, I don’t wanna be right
Tandoori nights, tandoori nights”

I guess the lyrics explain everything. Add to them Himesh Reshamiya’s voice. This has to be the song of the year.

2.When I Grow Up

How about growing up now? Although it’s a bit late by normal standards, it is never too late by absolute standards. However, I must say I can’t picture anybody other than Pussy Cat Dolls singing this song.

3.Pappu can’t dance saala

Only one question - Why, saala?

Leia Mais…

2008 Round Up

With another year coming to an end, all the newspapers and magazines have started reviewing the year which has just gone by. These days, it is a common sight to see the top and worst moments, books, music etc of the past year in various publications. Therefore, we thought that we should also wind up and move into the New Year. So, here’s a look at the year which has just gone by:-

TOP MOMENTS OF 2008

1.Mumbai Terror Attacks and other terrorist strikes

The heros :
Barkha Dutt for asking clear stance of parties again and again when they said they are with the government on this issue
Media for giving the citizens of India a live commentary and demonstration of how the NSG ( National Security Guards ) act.
Government for showing it is still capable of threatening the terrorists.
Lawyers for refusing to take up Kasab’s case with court.
Arundhati Roy for saying its not serious enough to be called India’s 9/11
Vilasrao Deshmukh for going sightseeing with his son and son’s employer to show them an event of historical importance

2.Economic Recession

The heros:
Civil Servants as their dowry price has gone up drastically in these troubled times.
Investment Bankers for setting up stalls and distributing their resumes for a job.
Housing Loans – for showing why you should not buy beer with them?
Stock Brokers – for freezing recruitment in their firms while sending out resumes for job.

3.IPL

Heros :
Lalit Modi for showing Sir Stanford how to do business in cricket
Shane Warne for showing what he could hae done with Australian team if his SMS’s did not keep getting delivered to wrong people.
Rahul Dravid: for establishing himself as a test player through this tournament.
Preity Zinta – Hey, no rumours on this blog.

4.Abhinav Bindra and Vishwanathan Anand

Heros :
IOC who celebrated their first individual gold medal in 108 years.
Suresh Kalmadi who told that after this medal, nobody can stop India from hosting 2016 olympic games.
Vladmir Kramnik who like always(as he said earlier)let Anand win this time also.

5.American Elections

Heros:
Hillary Clinton – for not giving Bill Gates the chance to interact again with White House interns
John McCain – for showing that memory loss with age is not an incompetency and for proving how Atal Bihari Vajpayee would have also been successful in America
Sarah Palin – for her winks and showing why Sonia Gandhi would not be successful in America.

OTHER MOMENTS WHICH JUST LOST OUT

Launch of Chandrayan-1
State Assembly elections in six states
Lewis Hamilton winning the F-1 driver trophy

WORST MOMENTS OF 2008

1.Himesh Reshamiya’s Karz

There are rumours that his children told him to stop growing his hair and acting like a jerk. It has also come to notice that they took another man to school as their father.

2.Nichole Scherzinger gets committed

It has come to notice that she has missed the opportunity of hooking up some of the most eligible guys on planet Earth who are currently residing in a small town in the deserts of India. These guys are just 2 years yonger than Lewis Hamilton.

3.Tatas pull out of Singur

It has been decided that the first Nano car coming out of the factory will be gifted to Mamata Banerjee. Apart from that, Narendra Modi has requested her help in moving two more projects to Gujarat.

4.Rahul Mahajan kicked out of Big Boss

He deserved the crown for all the humiliation he subjected himself to win this crown. He had been readying himself for shedding his clothes to win female votes in the last stage.

5.Raj Thackrey separating himself from his uncle

His uncle had driven out the southies. He was driving out the northies. Together, they could have driven the entire India out of Mumbai. But, alas it was not to be.

6. Sreesanth crying after being slapped

A new range of diapers is being launched in his name. He has also been chosen as the brand ambassdor of Baby Johnson products ( for showing that in every man, there is a child )

Leia Mais…

A Manifesto

The recent assembly elections in five states have been a rather low key affair. There were hardly any controversies and political scandals. This has been a very welcome change from the normal routine of dirty political campaigns. However, like always, we cannot say that the most eligible candidates have been selected. One of the candidates has been selected from South Delhi even after having a very questionable election manifesto. However, he says that his manifesto is practical and sets very real goals unlike the other candidates in the fray. For your convenience, we have procured a copy of his manifesto here

I, Ram Manohar Singh, am standing for the seat of State Assembly from your constituency. My manifesto points are as follows:-

1. Punjabi will be declared the state language and people who in a fit of road rage abuse in Punjabi will not be fined

2. Every person in NCR region will have the option of writing NCR as their state in their address instead of the name of their actual state.

3. The malls will be declared as heritage sites to collect money for state Treasury. There will be a cover charge for stag entry. In all the monuments of historic importance, there will be a cover charge for couple entry.

4. Every drunk driver after 10 in the night will be allowed to molest only one woman. This will help in reducing crime against woman.

5. A market similar to Pallika bazaar will be established outside each colony so that boys don’t have to go very far from their home to get all the stuff

6. The small streets of Old Delhi will be reserved for kawab shops only and rickshaws will not be allowed in these streets. This is because they cover the entire street and all pedestrians and cyclists have to move behind it.

7. New bus service will be established from various parts of Delhi to Mehrauli farmhouses

8. Bribe rates for policemen will be fixed. Fares for all the cab drivers will be fixed and will be 200% higher for people coming from outside so that they can get their present rates.

9. Anybody referring to a Delhite as DTC (For full form, please call me up) will be fined.

10. Delhi Transport Buses ( DTC ) buses will be provided with a siren just like an ambulance. Therefore, anybody who hears the siren will get out of the way. This will help in reducing these road accidents.

I will strive to fulfill all the points in my manifesto and bring peace and prosperity to the residents of my state. I will uphold the dignity of the Constitution of India at all times and fulfill the dream of its founding fathers in the right spirit.

[ Note: Manifesto for Rajasthan coming up ]

Leia Mais…

Weekly News - 2

The top stories of this week are :-


1.Now, Pak Army Man in Mumbai terror plot – Oh my God, what a surprise. It seems that the investigation has taken quite an unexpected turn of events. The government was expecting only Pakistan civilians to be involved in the attack.

2.Pope says stop homosexuality, save world – A rally is being organized in protest of this statement by parents saying - How about cleaning your own house first?

3.Antulay backtracks. The government hopes the issue is cleared. Antulay says “I had raised an issue and it has been answered.” – The government is worried about other issues Antulay might raise. It is rumoured that he might be planning to raise the issue of Hindu terrorists involved in the recent blasts in Afghanistan.

4.The shoes thrown on Bush bring employment to 100 people. Their demand in America has gone up drastically – Wonder what the conversation is these days in parties in America. One says “ See, these are the shoes with which an Iranian had beaten Bush”. The other says “ Oh really, see mine. These are the shoes with which Bush’s wife had beaten him”

5.Iran police closes down the office of Shirin Ebadi (Nobel Peace Prize Winner) – Putting Nobel Prize in perspective. When interviewed, the Iranian police said “ What is a Nobel Prize?”

6.Two youth caught stealing mobile phones – It has officially been confirmed that stealing mobile phones has taken over the chain snatching as the favorite past time of Indian youth.

7.Wine makers meet with government to discuss lowering excise duty – The government says it’s against the Gandhian principles. We should try and make the wine we produce so good that it can compete with French wines.

8.Soren’s assets double in 4 years – It has not been mentioned that they have become 10 times if wife of his property and son are included. Soren is thinking of doing a bachelor’s degree in Economics but he doesn’t want to go to the lower classes first.

9.Law passed. 5 years for people transmitting and publishing obscene material – People are asking what happens if somebody transmits it to you, you see it and then hand it back. Does the sentence still stand? The law needs to be clearly defined.

10.Miss Teen Carolina USA South Carolina’s answer is been mocked by Jimmy Kimmel and others – According to one of the judges, the point which we are forgetting is that she is also out of the same schools they are talking about. He says he has always hated this question answer part. You can put in another bathrobe sequence by replacing this, can’t u? Fair enough, we say.

Leia Mais…

Get Rich Quick

Going on the footsteps of Forbes, we decided to survey the quickest ways of getting rich in India. India, as we know is growing at a rate of 8% per annum and is producing millionaires at an alarming rate. The results of this survey are quite startling and have revealed very unconventional ways of getting rich. A special emphasis has been given on the quick part. That is the reason why some of the obvious professions like politics have been left out

The results are as follows:

1.Own a land property in the middle of a metro railway project or a commonwealth games project

You can quote a price almost 15-20 times of the property’s market value. Being government money, it will be handed over pretty comfortably. In fact, if properly executed, you can also end up as a billionaire.

2.Reality TV show

In this method, you have the added advantage of becoming a celebrity and a public figure. All you require is loads of attitude and drama skills, capacity to bear public embarrassment and a willingness to learn. The future is yours, baby.

3.IIT Coaching Classes

At this point, the richest people in India are the people who run coaching classes. This is third only because it takes some time to earn your first million. But once you do that honest, sky is the limit.

4.Narcotics Dealer

This is for adventurous people. If you have a stomach for the unlawful, this is the trade for you. India is a young country and its maturing. It needs something to grow on. The riches in this business are big and quick.

5.Travel Agent

Kabootarbazi
Daler Mehndi
Oye Sab Changa ji Changa

Leia Mais…

Indian Prime Ministers

Recently, the views of Raj Thackray on North Indians had the entire country stand up and take notice. His acts of vandalism were critiized in media heavily by one and all. Admist all this, we went to the previous prime ministers of India and asked them about what they thought of his views.

Their reactions were as follows:-

V.P.Singh – I perfectly agree with the views of Raj. Reservation in any form, any amount and at any level should be supported by us. All Maharashtrians have the right to those low level jobs. In fact, I think the higher level jobs should also be reserved for Marathis. The state should start with 27% reservation and with time move on to 50%.

Atal Bihari Vajpayee – Yeh acchi baat nahi hain “Paaaaauuuuuuusssssssssseeeeeeeeeee” Unko apne maryada mein rehna chahiye aur laxman rekha ke izzat karne chahiye warna pariram unke anurup nahi honge

Jawaharlal Nehru – Raj has just lost his way. If he introprospects, he will understand the error of his ways. But we should let him do what he is doing. After all, he is a Maharashtrian and our brother. “ Hindi Marathi Bhai Bhai”. I have sent a rose and a letter explaining him why what he is demanding can’t be granted. Sardar Vallabhai wanted to arrest him but I told him no since that would be against his basic human rights.

Chandra Shekhar – He is not broken any parliamentry convention. Therefore, I see no reason for disagreeing with him.

Inder Kumar Gujaral – I can’t express my views alone. After running a coalition government, I have realized that we should never speak without listening to all those concerned. Please tell me the views of other prime ministers before I can respond.

Rajiv Gandhi – His kind of behaviour cannot be tolerated. He cannot instigate this kind of violence without having to face the consequences. I will get him arrested. But I will not try and stop him from getting bail. I am ready to start the procedure but I won’t go all the way with it.

H D Dewegoda – I do not support what he said. But please don’t think it is permanent. I might change my opinion at a later time. For example, I have been against BJP for two decades but now after my son’s actions, I have started supporting BJP on certain issues. But as of now, I condemn Raj Thackray’s actions

Manmohan Singh – I will ask Sonia Gandhi and tell you.

Leia Mais…

Foriegners through the eyes of an Indian

India is a land of diversity. We are a country of only God knows how many languages, religions,cultures, folk dances etc. We pride ourselves on being a nation where people from different cultures have come and then have remained behind becoming a part of our culture.However there is one tribe which we have not been able to accept as a part of our culture even after being dominated by it for 200 years - that of white people.

Recently, I was travelling in a train when a foriegner walked into our compartment. As soon as he walked in, all the conversation stopped and there was pin drop silence in the compartment. One guy who was talking on phone so loudly that he could be heard two or three compartments down suddenly started speaking very slowly with his face towards the window. Everybody started staring at the foriegner. He looked all around him and must have made eye contact with everybody in the compartment. Soon his companion came and both settled down on their seats while talking in a strange language. Slowly the volume of conversation in the compartment started picking up.
My friend asked me "Which language is this?". Above me, an uncle was showing his child " See, they are Jewish " as if they are a specimen.

This made me wonder as to how the Indian psyche works when it sees a foriegener. For them, spotting a foriegener is just like spotting a rare animal in a zoo. Let us see how the various foriegners compare with the animals:-

Black Foriegner( African ) - He is just like a chimpanzee. A welcome change from the normal but nobody has any particular desire to watch it.

Japanese/ Korean - They are like a porcupine. So different from the normal species. That is the only reason people want to see them.

Bhutan/Sri Lanka/ Nepal/ Bangaladesh - A cow. We have got them in the streets. People don't even bat an eyelid on seeing them.

American - The prize catch. The tiger. Everybody wants to see them and make an aquaintaince whenever possible. People stand in awe for sometime after spotting them.

European/ Australian - Slightly below the American. The leopard. However, the reaction is just as intense as that for a tiger.

Pakistani - The snake. There is a special urge to take a stick and drive it out of town.

South America (Argentina, Chile, Brazil) - A rare species of butterfly. You have to tell people that it is a rare specie for them to appreciate it. You have to tell people that he is from so-so country for them to show an interest.

Leia Mais…

News Round Up

Here is some remaining updates on the news of this week :-

The laid off Jets workers are protesting outside Jet's Mumbai office demanding re-instainment with immediate effect.


It has been heard that the number of protesting employees went up from 600 to 1300 once the media started showing images of this protest on television. The laid off employees have been turning in for this event in their best clothes. In fact after seeing the protest on TV, some fashion agencies have secretly sent their agents in this protest to scour for models who can perform in their upcoming fashion show.

The government has announced a waiver of Rs 25k crores for the farmers- It is hoped that out of this at least Rs 2k crores will reach the farmers for whom this waiver is actually meant. The figure of 25k was reached after adding 15% of the proposed package for federal agencies, 25% for the state agencies and 25% for the district authorities.

Leia Mais…

Weekly News

Welcome to the weekly news. Here we provide a round-up of all the events happening around the world. This week's top stories are:-

Saurav Ganguly finally decides to retire. He played in the Indian team as a performing captain for two years and then as a non-performing captain for four years. After being removed from captaincy, he again played for three years. During this period, he performed well but was kicked out of the team on several occasions for the feats he performed as a non-performing captain. Thus, fed up of being tossed around like a football, he took the final step.

The N-deal goes through. BJP who had been opposing it in the parliament claims it as a big success and credits Atal Bihari Vajpayee for having the vision of starting work on this treaty during his term.

Paul Krugman gets the Nobel prize. Paul has been one of the biggest critics of Bush’s economic policy.There are allegations on nobel committee that it is trying to attribute the economy’s crash to Bush policies. Mr Bush says he is not concerned.
His concern is only with the Nobel Peace Prize committee.

MacCain dares Obama for final debate. Mr McCain has reminded people that he is the candidate. For the past few days, Internet and people’s Google Readers had been flooded with posts about Palin to such an extent that people had forgotten that she is MacCain’s running aide and they will have to vote for him in the elections.

Narender Modi says make voting compulsory. He is going to force people out of their homes on election days and fine them if they don’t come to vote.

Indian sailor free by pirates, heads home. The Indian Statistics Bureau has confirmed that everytime an Indian is in trouble overseas, there is 75% probability that he is from the state of Kerala.

Congress ex-minister joins BJP in MP. He is the sixth person to defect in this month and the 150th ovverall since BJP has come into power.

Vinod Kambli turns into a dancer. This is the reason why you should make your son a cricketer. In case he is kicked out of the team, he will still have a lot of career options – open a resturant, host a talk show, become an actor or a dancer, become a part of the expert panel of Aaj Tak etc etc.

Times of India has launched a new section called Graffiti in their sports pages.It looks like an assortment of the cover pages of the Cosmopolitan magazine. And the motto of the newspaper says “Because you deserve to know”

Nanavati Commision is finally bringing its report out. It had taken four years to prepare its report. After that, the High Court had stayed the Commission from bringing out its report for another two years. Finally the report is coming out. The committee is being lauded for bringing its report in just 6 years when the average time is 10 years.

IIT faculty quota to be implemented. This step has been taken to bring the downtrodden committees at par with the higher ones. It is also being thought that reservation should also be implemented in books. Of all the books being taught at IIT, 27% should be wriiten by SC’s and OBC’s

Suicide blast at Pakistan MP’s house kill 12 – We, Indians will like to sincerely express our deep sorrow at this incident. This incident cannot be justified and the prepators of this attack should be brought to justice immediately.

Leia Mais…

Terrorist attack

News has just come in that the United Nations conference which was being held for the first time in the continent of Afrikanaas has been attacked by some terrorists. The terrorists are currently holding about 200 people as hostages. They have threatened to kill them if their demands are not met by tonight. The United Nations has just now called an emergency meeting in New York to decide the course of action which needs to be taken. They are debating that whether they should attack the terrorists while putting the life of the hostages at risk or not. It is said that some countries are in favour of acceding to the demand of the terrorists instead of attacking them.

UN meeting, New York
The various countries are voicing their opinions one by one

China
The terrorists should be immediately attacked and neutralized. We should not care one bit about the number of hostages who are going to die. It is not because of our fault that they are in this situation. The hostages who die in this battle will be considered as martyors and we will provide ample compensation to their family members.

France
We are not really concerned about this problem. We will go with the collective decision of the General Assembly. We have much more pressing issues to discuss such as Carla Bruni’s previous lovers and Paris Hilton’s new tapes.

Israel
We should try to save the hostages while attempting to kill the terrorists. In case some hostages are killed, we will count their number. If they are less than the number of terrorists killed, then it is okay. Otherwise we will find the difference and then kill that many people of the organization to which these terrorists belong. We have been following this trick for a long time and it is very successful. It teaches the terrorists their lesson and nobody will be able to call us brutal.

United States
We should attack the terrorists without caring about the hostages. As our experience says, we will most probably fail in foiling their attempt. If we fail, we will attack the country to which these terrorists belong.

Britain
We will go along with the decision of the United States

African Countries
We will go along with the decision of the country which gives us maximum aid. Since right now it is United States, we will stick to them

Pakistan
They are terrorists and our enemies in the war of terror. We should immediately attack them. We will like to assure the General Assembly that Pakistan will help the United Nations forces in whatever way possible to overcome the terrorists
(Sideways to his aides: Tell the terrorists that they are going to be attacked and negotiate with the United Nations about the sum of money which we will get in return for helping them)

India
There is no need to ward off their attack. Don’t accede to their demands and let them do whatever they want. They will automatically go back after plundering. We have been following this strategy for many years. In our entire history, people have come, plundered, killed our people and then gone back but it has never affected us. Whether it is Muhammed Ghaznavi or the British or the Mughals or the terrorists now, nobody can accuse us of violence. In fact, some of them after plundering us became a part of our culture. These terrorists might also after getting their wishes fulfilled decide to settle in Afrikanas and become a part of it. So, we will advise you not to do anything about it. We should neither attack them nor accede to their demands.

South Korea
Since none of the countries involved in the conflict is a Muslim country, we will like to remain out of this matter.

Japan
We should try and talk with the terrorists. We have started believing in non-violence after World War 2 and are of the view that dialogue is the best way of solving a conflict between two parties. An attempt should be made to make the terrorists understand that they are treading a wrong path. They will ultimately drop their weapons after realizing their mistake. However if you do decide to attack them, we will like to make it clear that we will not be a part of it. On safety grounds, we will not fire ammunition in any country except ours.

Leia Mais…

The Nano Factory

Recently, Ratan Tata had decided to shift the Nano factroy from West Bengal due to dispute over Singur land. Soon after he made this decision, a lot of states saw an opportunity to attract Nano to their state. As a part of these efforts, one of the present members of the government of Uttar Pradesh decided to write a letter to Ratan Tata, requesting him to consider Uttar Pradesh as one of his options. He also issued a copy of this letter to the press. Here, is a copy of the letter.


Dear Ratan ji,

I feel deep grief over the recent row on Singur land which forced you to pull out of the state of West Bengal. Being an industralist myself, I realize how much effort and money it takes to shift an entire factory from one place to another and that too under a time constraint. Under such circumstances, we the state of Uttar Pradesh will be more than happy to accommodate your Nano plant in our state.

We believe that Uttar Pradesh should be your first preferance because of the number of advantages this state provides. The political will of the state is with you. We have criticized Mamata Banerjee more times than we have supported her. Although in the starting, we used to call her “A Freedom Fighter against an Opressive Regime”, once the rumours of a third front with the help of Communists started floating, we were also the first party to shun her. Recently, after our fallout with Congress and then the fallout of the Congress with Left, we had made some statements in her favour. But if you decide to set up your plant in our state, you can be rest assured that we will waste no time in criticizing her openly. We are a party which strictly supports or opposes people (except one) on the basis of issues. But, there is a slight catch associated with this also. For the continuance of your plant, you will have to make sure that we win in the next general assembly elections. If the opposing party comes in power, then the electricity and other basic amenities of your plant will be cut down since your plant had been built in our rule. Although strange, there is an unwritten law of our state which says that any infrastructure built under one party will be not allowed to function with the help of the state’s resources under the rule of another party. Some of the parks in the state capital are a big example of the implementation of this law. We all know that you have had a good experience of working in different political enviroments and hence, we hope this won’t be a big problem for you.

This state will also help in serving your political ambitions. We will offer you a seat in the Rajya Sabha in the next elections. In the past, we have been responsible for sending some of the top notch industralists and film stars into the Rajya Sabha and these people have had nothing to do with Uttar Pradesh. Some of the prominent names among them include Anil Ambani, Jaya Bacchan etc. We promise to do the same for you also.

There must be some concern in your mind about the poor facilities which the government provides in our state. Please, do not let that concern you. I know that half of our state faces huge power cuts in a day but for your plant, we will ensure 24 hour electricity. We have already ensured 24 hour electricity in our offices and you can ask anybody about how fine it is working. Our electricity bill for a month comes in crores. In fact, the cost of snacks in our offices for a month had also come somewhere close to 8 lakhs. Therefore, money is not a problem from our side. The labour present in the state will also flock to your plant. They all have no trust left in the government plants after seeing various sick PSUs being shut down one after the other. In fact, you must have heard about the famous suicides by the sugar farmers some years back. Many of them have not been paid till now. This has assured them that the government has no money left in its coffers. However, you might be right in being worried about the law and order situation prevailing in some parts of the state.There is some problem with the terrorism which is brewing in Eastern UP but apart from that side, all the other troublemakers in the state are our people only. We can assure you that they will create no problems for you. We want to do something about the Eastern UP situation also but Shabana Azmi and Javed sir are not allowing us to do anything. They are sensible people and can be trusted not to cause any obstruction in matters which might harm your factory.

All in all, I believe that if you do decide to bring Nano to our state, it will be a win-win situation for all of us. You will get a Rajya Sabha seat along with a nice home for your factory while we will get funding for our next elections. This mutually beneficial start will also help us later in discovering many other avenues of cooperation.So, please consider our proposal seriously. I shall be waiting for your reply.

Yours sincerely
A…r S….h

Leia Mais…

Your dream job

If you are an undecided youth who is still searching for his dream job, you have come to the right place. Here we profile some of the coolest and highest paying state specific jobs in the country. Depending on which state you want to settle down in, you can look up the corresponding dream job in the table below:-

Bihar

Kidnapper – This is the highest paying job in the country presently and if Laluji remains in power, this will rank high among the safest jobs also. In case you are put in jail, you can run your bussiness from inside the jail. This facility is made availiable by Laluji and Bihar police to help in attracting investment in this industry.

West Bengal

Labour Union Member – There is no need to work. Whenever you are in need of money, you can go on a strike and ask your company bosses to pay you. And if the company shuts down, you can break and set fire to two or three government vehicles and then ask the government to pay your expenses.

Tamil Nadu

Film Actor – You just need to be fat, have a huge moustache and look sun burnt to make it big in the industry. You will have the hottest females in the entire country featuring opposite you. The rest of the job will be done by the director who will put gravity defying stunts in your role which will make the janta go mad in the cinema theatres.

Delhi

Bus Driver – Everyone will be afraid of you. In fact, you can collect tax from people for their safety on road.In case somebody doesn’t obilige; you can run over him with your bus. The side effects will be a small newsarticle in the next day’s paper which will claim “One more killed by Blueline buses” and you will have to search for a new job. Although this might hurt your chances, it will be still worth a shot for you to search your new job in the field of driving only.

Maharashtra

Marathi teacher – You will have total control over who resides in Maharashtra and who is kicked out of the state. You can start charging double the normal rates from people who are not originally from Maharashtra. And yeah, all this along with a special award from Bal Thackrey for contributing in the progress of the nation.

Punjab

Immigration Officer – You can force people to pay hefty bribes for their passports. With almost every family in the state coming to you, you will often earn a six figure sum in a single month. And that six figure sum will come from the family’s earlier immigrated sons who are sending money from Canada.

Harayana

Jigolo – With male: female ratio projected to go up to 5:1 in favor of males in the coming years, this will be the most profitable business in the state. But there is a catch. This business opportunity will be availed by only those who have the early movers advantage. Another profitable move here will be to form gay rights NGO's who will receive enormous grants from the citizens of the state. Considering the average rate at which NGO’s curb money, the founders can become rich very quickly

Karnataka

Lawyer – You can always argue that the neighbour’s daughter is lawfully your daughter-in-law since the water of the muncipality which she drinks passes through your house first before going to her house. In effect, you can say that the water which she is drinking is yours. The judge will be mighty pleased with your argument.

Chattisgarh

Police Inspector – You can call anybody a naxalite and throw him in jail. There will be nobody to question you except the naxalites with whom you can strike a deal. And you will be so much inside the remote forests that there will be no cause of worry from the side of the district authorities

Gujarat

Baba Ramdev – You will just need to wear orange colored clothes, grow long hair like rock stars (if possible dye them white), sit on an assan all day long and preach. Every time you preach,you can say the same thing with slight variations.Once you have preached, you will need to sit still with your eyes closed for half an hour. The people will automatically put all the things required for a living (such as food, money, clothes etc) at your feet.

Kerala

No job - You won’t have a job.But you surely will be a Bachelor of Science in two subjects.

Orissa

No job - You will neither have a job nor a degree. Welcome to the poverty line.

Leia Mais…

The Big Indian IIT Dream

Our next interview is with a typical member of a 6 lakh strong community in India. The people of this community are among the busiest in the country and for the two ( or 3 )years while they are a part of this community, they are the most important members of their family. It is a rotating community with every year, people passing out of it and new people coming in. If you have ever attended college, there is a 6/13 chance that you have been a member of this community. This community consists of all geniuses. After getting out of this community, about 95% of the members are classified as duds while the remaining 5% continue with their status of geniuses. Yes, your guess is right. This is the community of the ( mighty,intelligent,cool,ghot )IIT-JEE aspirants. Here is my interview with a member of this community Rohan, an IIT-JEE aspirant who is living in a metro and is taking coaching in a prestigious coaching institute ( This institute claims to have been consistently sending over 1000 students into IIT every year. It is a different matter that out of those 1000, 300 students are continually been selected in IIT for past several years and out of remaining 700, about 500 have only attended its test series. ). So here are some parts of my interview with Rohan:

Q. Why are you preparing for IIT?
A. My parents want me to enter one of the following professions – medical or engineering. These days there are no job prospects for BSc students and people who take commerce and arts are not intelligent. Therefore, it leaves me with these two options only. Out of these two branches, getting admission into top medical colleges is very tough. There are only about 800 seats in the entire state in these top notch colleges. On the other hand, there are lots of seats in engineering colleges. IIT’s themselves have over 4000 seats. Then, there are also thousand of seats in AIEEE. Hence, engineering is a safer option. And I also hate biology. But that is not such a big problem. If it had been offering me loads of money, then I am sure my parents would have sent me into the medical field. But since it doesn’t as of now , I am preparing for IIT-JEE.

Q. What branch do you want in engineering?
A. I don’t really care. Any branch in any IIT will suit me fine. I don’t have any particular interest in engineering. I am interested only in clearing IIT-JEE. But since these days computer engineering is in fashion, I will like to opt for it. My parents also want me to get that branch. They have heard that people graduating in computer science earn lots of money. Although I and my parents don’t really know what is taught in computer engineering or what is the difference between computer engineering and other branches, the inquiry of my parents with people who have already done engineering suggests that I should get this branch only.

Q. What is your daily routine?
A. I have a very tough schedule these days. I wake up at 7 o’ clock. Then I dress up in fifteen minutes and go to school. At about 2 o’ clock, the school finishes. But I stay in the school till 3 and have my lunch. At 3 , I go for my various coachings. I cannot go to home after school since 1 hour’s time is too less to go to home from school, change, have lunch and then come back for coaching. On MWF days, I attend two different coachings of Physics and Chemistry back to back which finish by 8 o’ clock. By 8:30 pm, I come back home. Then I have dinner and after lazing around for 1 hour, I study till 12:30. At 1 o’ clock, I go to sleep. On TTS days, I attend only one coaching of Maths. Therefore, I come back home early by 6 o’ clock. Then is the time when I am actually to able to study at home.Therefore, after coming back, I study for continuous 6 hours ( - excluding some time for dinner, TV etc ) before wrapping up the day at about 12 o’ clock.

Q. How do you manage school and coaching together?
A. It’s not a problem at all. Everybody is able to manage that. I go to school and sit on the last bench where teacher does not pay any attention. Sitting on this last bench for entire day, I solve JEE problems from JEE books and my coaching material. I don’t listen at all to what is being taught in class. The teachers in school are all fools. They don’t know anything. They cannot solve my coaching material problem. So, why should I listen to them. And we all know that nobody asks about board exams. It is the only the entrance exams which matter. The teachers have by now also become used to students not listening to them and doing their coaching work. So, they don’t disturb me. Also, since more than 80% of the students in the class are like that only, they don’t bother to teach in class also.

Q. Recently, the Lok Sabha assembly elections were held. Do you know who has been elected as the new prime minister of India?
A. I don’t know. Should I know it? Are they also starting a General Knowledge paper in JEE from this time? No, they aren’t. Then, why should I know it? How does it help me in my IIT preparation? Please don’t ask such stupid questions. I can only answer questions pertaining to JEE. I know that on 7 September of last month, IIT Chennai director said that JEE pattern will be changed this time. Then on 5 August, IIT Kanpur director said that JEE will be tougher this time. If you want to ask me, ask me about JEE cut-offs, branch cut-offs etc for past several years. Why are you asking about politics?

Q. Oh, sorry.We heard you used to play electric guitar till 8th. What happened after that? Why did you leave it?
A. Yes, I used to play the guitar. But now the burden of studies has become so much, that I am not able to devote time to it. Anyways, where is the time for it. I have coachings at all times of the day. My parents knew that this will be the case from before. That is why as soon as I came in 9th, they citing the reason of studies, stopped the guitar tutor from coming home and then locked my guitar in the basement. It was a very wise decision, I must say.

Me: That will be all, Rohan. Thanks a lot for your time. It was very nice talking to you. All the best for your IIT-JEE exam.
Aspirant: Thanks.Is it finished ? I have got to go and study now. And please I have a request. Don’t come again before JEE exam. I don’t have the time for you. Chalo, catch you later.Bye.

Leia Mais…

The Rajputs

Our next interview is with a very special guest who has come back from history to put forward his viewpoint in front of us. He is the Rajput king of the Kingdom of Newar. He was the king of this region at the time of invasion of India by the East India Company. This interview was recorded just before the invasion by the British. So, presenting before you the king of Newar:-

Me: My lord, thankyou for givng us your precious time. I heard you cancelled your hunting tour today to take time out for us.
King: It’s nothing. I had already gone to two hunting tours yesterday. Today, I had to cancel my tour because a Shudra crossed our path while we were on our way. Who can go if God sends such powerful signs to advise us not to go? Anyways, I have put that Shudra in jail and taken time out for you. Ask me whatever you want.

Q. My lord, right now the kingdom of Newar is into a fight with only four out of six of its neighbouring states. This is one of the most peaceful periods in the history of this kingdom. What do you think is the reason for this prosperity?
A. We have always tried to maintain peace with all our neighbours. But we cannot maintain peace with neighbours who step out of their limits and try to insult us. For example, take our northern neighbours. Last time when I was visiting their state, one of the darbans while serving water poured it over my diamond studded dress. How could I bear such insult? I immediately summoned my army to teach them a lesson. Our other northern neighbours also crossed their limits. Last time when their king came over he made physical contact with my queen. She fell over and he extended his hand to help her up. Do you think any self respecting man will be able to bear that? I immediately attacked that state. However, I cannot do anything in the fight with my eastern neighbours. We have been fighting for ages and I am only carrying forward the tradition. The fight with the fourth kingdom is purely due to personal reasons. The king of that kingdom won the last Sywamwar which I attended. But, don’t worry. I will prove my superiority over him by beating him in war. I am trying to establish good relations with our neighbours but I will like to assure my kingdom that it will not be on the cost of our respect.

Q. There are reports coming in that the British are on the verge of attacking India. What will you do to ward them off?
A. See, the British if they come are our guests. “Athithi Devo Bhawa”. We will help them in all manners possible since they will help in weeding out our rival states. My objective is to see that none of the other kingdoms in India should be able to expand their boundaries. I will befriend the British if they help us to achieve that goal. Besides, they don’t pose any challenge to us. We are invincibles. My family history and childhood training can never be matched by the British.

Q. You have five daughters and no son. What are you thinking about your successor?
A.Yes, it is a very big problem. I have sent my queen into exile as a punishment for giving birth to five daughters.I am thinking about marrying again for a son. I have again become active in the social circlre and started visiting Syamvaras.

Q. Can’t you make your daughter the head of the state?
A. Are you mad? How can a female ever become the head of this state? I have kept my daughters behind closed doors for their entire life and allowed them to come in contact with only 15 maid servants till now. What do they know about all these wordly affairs? No, it is unthinkable.

Q. What about your cousins?
A. Yes, that is possible. But my family has had a long history where the relatives killed each other for the throne. My grandfather was killed by his cousin who was killed by his second cousin who was then killed by my father for the throne. So, if I decide to make one of them the king, all these killings will again start. But I am still young. That is why I will try for a baby boy before resorting to this last option.

Q. My lord, there has been a drought in the state for past one month. What have you done to help the farmers battle these tough conditions?
A. Yes, I know about the drought. The person who comes to massage my body has lost some strength in his hands. When I asked him about it, he told me about this drought. I am trying to help the people through this crisis. At present, about 40% GDP of the state goes in acquiring precious stones ( such as diamonds, rubies etc ) which are embedded at various places in my palace. About 55% of the remaining GDP goes in the wars. Also, 20% of the people are involved in maintainance of the palace while remaining are farmers and warriors.I was thinking about increasing this 40% GDP involved in acquiring rubies to about 43%. But now because of drought, I am only increasing it upto 42%. Also, I have decided to employ 5% more people in the maintainance of the palace. This way we will be able to negate the effects of this drought.

Me: Thankyou ,my lord, for your time
King: Anytime, dude.

Leia Mais…

Interview with BCCI President

Continuing with my interviews, my next interview is with the newly appointed president of BCCI – Mr Sharad Pawar. He has kindly agreed to give us a part of his time and more importantly, he has also agreed to answer our questions truthfully. So, here are the excperts from my intervew with Mr Pawar:-

Q: Mr Pawar, thankyou for giving us your time. We will like to congratulate you on your win in the recent elections.
A: Thanks. This win means a lot of me. For the past three months, I have neglected all my duties as agriculture minister and have been lobbying for this post. During this time, the farmer suicide rate increased by 5% and two regions in the country faced drought. But I did not let that deter me from my course. So it obviously feels good to achieve success in something you have worked so hard for.

Q. Certainly, sir. So, what were your first prirority after taking over this post?
A: My first priority after taking over will be to expose all scandals in which Dalmiya has been involved. My aim is that the by the end of this season, we should be able to file at least 9-10 cases against him. Also, some of his men are sitting at the top of various state boards. I will try and get them impeached. That will make more time but I am ready to devote that much time.

Q Sir, I meant cricket wise
A: Oh, cricket wise. I don’t know much about cricket. Cricket will continue to be handled the way it was being handled before. There will be no change in that. My subordinates will look to that. Besides, cricket is doing fine, isn’t it? We have made it into the Olympics this year.What else do you want? I will not interfere in any matters pertaining to cricket. I am a completely political person.

Q. Sir, cricket is not in Olympics. Anyways what steps will you take to increase the revenue of the board?
A. Ahh, now you are stepping into my domain. Money.See, we will need to increase the inflow of money into board this time. It is mainly because of two reasons – first, I have got lot of votes since I have promised a lot of people to increase their salary and secondly, I need to get a stronghold in various state boards. That will require money. But I have been told that after India’s recent series win, we will get a lot more money from broadcasting rights. So, I am keeping my fingers crossed. Let’s see what happens.

Q. Sir, there was talk about increasing the allowance of Ranji players. Are you planning to take any steps on it ?
A. Are you mad? The cricketers are already earning so much. Howmuch more do you want them to earn. It is the board members who are dying of poverty. This is the reason why they are corrupt and then you people make fun of them by calling BCCI as Board for Corruption of Cricket in India. They are the people whose salaries should be increased. No, I will not waste the resources of the board by increasing cricketer’s salary.

Q. But sir, only the top level cricketers are earning money. Not the bottom level cricketers.
A. If you start paying them, then who will have the motivation of making it to the top. No, I will not entertain any furthur discussions in this regards.

Q. Sir, there is talk of preparing sporty pitches in India so that our team can perform well outside the subcontinent. What steps do you intend to take in this regard.
A. Why do you worry about that? It is our internal matter and we can decide whenever we want. The entire board will hold a meeting and decide that what kind of pitch needs to be made and then we will make the pitch accordingly. If you want we can also hold a poll and let the public decide what kind of pitch they want to see the match on. The will of the nation will be taken in account while making such decisions.

Me: Sir, thankyou for your time. I am sure your insight into the game of cricket will help in making India a better cricketing nation.
Pawar: My pleasure. I will do anything to help my country. After all, I am a Maratha Kshatriya.Thank you.

Leia Mais…

Random Thoughts

Some random thoughts which struck me over this week:-

* If there was no system of arranged marriages in India, how many guys in India would have never got married? Many.

* Why do people make such cool g-mail id’s? (eg cooldude361).Imagine somebody has already taken the ids –cooldude, cooldude1 etc.

* Sir, be patient with kids.You have been studying rake angle for past 20 years and they are studying it for the first time. And if you understood rake angle that well while studying, what the hell are you doing teaching it to them now in this classroom

* 60 hits in one day and no comments. Why?

* A sitcom, a couch and a pepsi. Together, avoid them.

* We Indians are such good people. I mean we are the only ones who can talk about water conservation while shaving with an open tap.

* Which community is most liable to crack a PJ and then expect others to laugh at it? Guess,Guess.(Hint: The answer is professors).

* Chrome is actually fast. Bill Gates must be wondering what did he ever do to piss off the Google guys.

* There is blood on Wall Street and the pink slip season is back. It may better get over before my graduation. I don’t want to end up jobless. It’s no longer fashionable to be unemployed and I am not a Dalit. Also, I don’t have the assets to become a successful socialite.

* Some people do better under pressure. Some crack. Why? What's missing is a logical explanaton.

* How can somebody name its band “Butthole Surfers”. Common guys, get a life. There is a whole world waiting for you outside that butthole to get surfed.

* How much will the result of four pathetic exams count for? In the long run, I don't know. But in the short term, they are all that will count. So people, please study.

* Wake up when September Ends

Leia Mais…

Delhi Blasts

About two days ago, there were bomb blasts in Delhi which left about 18 people dead and several injured. The bombs were planted in the busiest portion of the market and then denoted on a weekend so that maximum casualties may be incurred. Although such incidents are no longer news to the Indian public which has become used to its law and order being raped again and again by terrorists, it certainly does make them boil over. The only class of Indians which considers these blasts as normal are the politicians.

I was imagining myself taking an interview of Shivraj Patel, India’s home minister just after the blasts. Going by his actions, if he gave his interview truthfully, the interview would go off something like this:-

Me: Sir, thank you for giving us your time at such a crucial juncture.
Shivraj: What do you mean by thank you? You woke me up in the middle of my sleep and you are saying thank you. Don’t you have any manners. Why do you media persons have to blow everything out of proportion. Haven’t you people become used to the blasts by now. Can you count me the capital of one state which has not faced blasts in the past three years? Common, people..don’t kid me. Those people have attacked our parliament which has Z level security. What the hell is a market compared to that? Grow up and don’t make news everytime there are blasts.

Me: Sorry, sir. Is there any message you will like to give the country in this moment of grief?
Shivraj: I give the same message after every blast. I will repeat it now also. Please record it and next time, there are blasts don’t disturb me and just play it. “My dear countrymen, it is yet another attempt by the terrorists to disrupt our unity and harmony. It is our duty to exercise restraint at such a moment so that the terrorists are not successful in their mission. We condemn this incident with all our disdain and assure you that the perpetrators of this attack will not be spared.”

Me: Sir, why are the perpetrators of these attacks not brought to justice?
Shivraj: Because, my dear we have to remain in power. I cannot afford to make my votebank angry by enacting harsh laws. India is a soft state. It will remain like that. What do you want me to do? Start awarding death penalities to these terrorists. You saw how we came to power in Kerala by letting that terrorist go and remember that Kerala is the most literate state. No, we cannot do that otherwise BJP will come in power. Our fight is against communalism, not terrorism. Communalism is our No 1 enemy. Losing about 50 lives for a five year term is a very reasonable trade which we are ready to make.

Me: Sir, what will you do for the relatives of those who died?
Shivraj: They will all be awarded a handsome compensation package. I will make sure that they actually get the amount which is released to them. Not like the way it happens with military widows where they have to fight for years before they get their due. We are not that hard-hearted. Don’t worry about that.

Me: Sir, Israel is known for the way they combat terrorism. The last person who was responsible for Munich Games debacle was killed 25 years after that event. Why can’t we hunt the terrorists with the same zeal?
Shivraj: I know. We can do the same thing. Our police is very good. But we don’t want to spoil the relations we have with the terrorists. For example, take the case of Daud Ibrahim. His son-in-law is my very good friend. I am thinking about giving him a ticket for elections next time. Besides, Daud sir himself has so many friends in the film and political circles. We don’t want to spoil those relationships. Besides, the public also doesn’t like action to be taken against popular people. You followed the Sanajy Dutt case, didn’t you? How people were begging and writing letters to get him off the hook. Besides, we should be soft towards Pakistan. I cannot hurt my votebank.

Me: What efforts will you make so that things like these are not repeated in Future?
Shivraj: I will appear in 4-5 talk shows and tell people that there is nothing to worry. Mrs Sonia Gandhi will repeat the message which I just now gave to the public. We will also catch 4-5 miscreants who we were already keeping an eye on. Although, they are not involved in the blasts but they were members of the sleeping cell of a terrorist organization. But most importantly, I will do nothing. Nobody can afford to survive without going on their jobs. So, in two days in spite of the risks, they will go on their jobs and everything will be normal. Then, I will wait for the blasts to occur again. Hopefully, this will be somewhere other than Delhi. Then I can blame the state government.

Me: Thanks a lot,sir.
Shivraj: My pleasure.

Leia Mais…

A Journey in NCR buses

I spent my last summer in Noida doing an internship. While I was there, due to lack of a conveyance, I used to travel by buses.They are like the lifeline of this region. They are jam-packed and provide people with probably the worst ambience possible for a journey. A typical journey of a person in a bus in this region goes something like this:-

As soon the person sees the bus, he rushes towards it and he is one in a crowd of almost 60-70. By the time he reaches the gate and tries to enter the bus, he finds that 20 people are simultaneously trying to get in through the door. He strategically places his hand like a barrier across the door and tries to move forward only to find that he is blocking some guy’s head who is trying to crawl in the space beneath his hand.Quickly, he runs inside the bus and finds that only one seat is empty. He comfortably sits down on it and thanks his luck for it. After about 5 minutes a female comes, shakes him and points above his head. He looks up to find that it is a ladies seat. He grudgingly stands up and vacates the seat. Now as he stands, he realizes that there are three people pressing against his back while others are pressing him sideways. Among these, some guy’s sweaty hands are pressed against his shirt making it all wet. He tends to fall over the guy who is sitting on the seat in front of you and his bag constantly keeps hitting his face. This bloke doesn’t say anything for sometime but then he gets irritated and starts abusing him. He pacifies him somehow and tries to tangle the bag in his arms. In the meanwhile the conductor comes asking for a ticket. He realizes that he dosn’t have enough space to take out the purse from his jeans. So, he hands over his bag to the guy sitting, leaves himself leaning against the guy behind him and bends his hand backward at an angle of 10 degrees to take out his purse. While he is at it the conductor keeps shouting at him and he keeps cursing yourself for wearing a jeans. He hands over the money to him and the conductor gives him his ticket with the balance money written on the back of it. He takes the bag back and returns to his stuffed position. In the meantime his back starts paining due to the bent posture. Suddenly, the bus crosses over a bridge built over an open sewage drain. A smell (let’s say, an indescribable smell) starts filling his nostrils and he feels a strong urge to place his hand over his nose. But he suddenly become wary of the consequences and instead tries not to breathe in air. He is able to hold his breath for just as long as the drain lasts. Anyways, the journey continues. Finally, after standing like this for what seems like an eternity the destination comes. He gets out, thanks God as profusely as he would have if he had survived the dooms-day conspiracy and immediately startS feeling revulsion at the thought of the next journey.

Had this been a DTC Blueline bus, he would have experienced numerous jerks in the journey caused due to the driver just narrowly missing hitting someone and then he could have heard the driver abusing that someone. Along with it, he would have enjoyed the very irritating sound the conductor makes while hitting the metallic body of the bus to tell the driver when to stop and when to move. His skills in getting down and boarding a moving bus would also have increased considerably.

The Private buses are another common feature in these parts. Their inside temperature is about 5 degrees higher than the outside temperature and they travel at about half the speed of a normal bus while charging you twice.

Moral of the story : Arrange for yourself a conveyance before you enter NCR.

Leia Mais…

Olympics

Recently, the Beijing Olympics got over. They are being touted by media as one of India's biggest sporting successes on world stage.Although they were a success considering India's previous performance,the amount of hype which is being generated is quite unnecessary and unjustified.

I will like to narrate the chain of events in these Olympics from the viewpoint of an Indian :-

1. The Indian contingent leaves for Beijing. It consists of 57 athletes. It is about half the number of medal winners of USA in the Athens Olympics. These 57 athletes are also accompanied by 42 officials.
2. Half of the Indians discover in the middle of Olympics after going to Beijing that Indian hockey team has not qualified this time.
3. Sonia Gandhi goes with her family to witness Olympics and enjoy a summer holiday. Interestingly, China extended an invitation to her but not to the PM even when the standard procedure is to extend it to the head of the nation. It seems China also knows our head of the state.
4. Avneet Kaur ( the “ace” Indian shooter )sees Rafael Nadal from a handshaking distance. She becomes so excited that she misses her practice and finds her voice only at the press conference next day.
5. Ukraine, a country in Europe with a population of about 25% of Uttar Pradesh crosses the mark of 20 medals 14 days into the Olympics. (20 is a historic figure. It is the total number of medals grossed by India in its 108 year old Olympic history )
6. Indian contingent returns with three medals. It is regarded as one of the most successful Olympics for India ( especially after the last show at Athens where we returned with one silver medal ). Indian NEWS channels broadcast the news of these medals as breaking news for one day and then discuss it for the next 20 days.
7. PT Usha, Suresh Kalmadi, Milkha Singh and a lot of their generation people attend talk shows hosted by various TV channels to discuss this stupendous success of India. They also criticize the government for not doing anything to improve the condition of sportsmen.
8. The Government welcomes back Sonia Gandhi from her visit. It regards it as a highly successful diplomatic visit which will help strengthen ties between India and China
9. The focus shifts back to cricket.

Leia Mais…

Social Networking

Social networking is fun. At least it used to be. When Orkut started, it used to be a real good pass time for jobless people like you. New friends were joining all the time, very old acquaintances who were out of touch for a long time started resurfacing, meeting plans were hatched on Orkut and you being early users started creating communities on a lot of your passions. I was joining a new college at that point of time and I used Orkut extensively to connect with a lot of my seniors to ask a variety of questions. But it was back then.

As time slowly passed, you started wondering what to do on orkut. People kept asking you the same silly questions on your scrapbook over and over again -“ Hows lyf “, “How are you doing” , “What’s up” and other trash like this and every time you replied to them, you could come up with only one answer “ I am fine”. “Nothing much“. If somebody had asked you this question after a year, you could have told him something but what do you tell to a guy who asked the same question two days ago.[ After all you lead a normal life]

You realized you have nothing left to do on Orkut and it’s an utter waste of time. You have already browsed to add your friends who are on the network. The communities which you joined were all dead with the last post on their forum posted about a year ago and your scrapbook was filled with questions like those above.

What did you do then? You made a quantum leap and jumped to Facebook. Although in your country, it hadn’t become a rage and very few people were on it, but every blog (be it on social media or business ) just couldn’t seem to get enough of it. Anyways, you joined and struggled to find your first friends. But as they say, jobless people are everywhere. Very soon you found that there is an entire group of your friends out there on it too and you started making friends. But there is one great thing about Facebook which distinguishes it from Orkut. Even if you don’t have friends, there are also a lot of cool applications for you to waste your time on. You can use iLike to browse for your favourite music or you can use Flixter to review movies and find reviews by other persons. For some studs there are also applications like “How sexy are you “, “What does my name mean “, “Which Godfather character are you “to make these guys feel good about themselves. You browsed through these applications to make your profile look cool but later realized what an asshole you are. So, you quickly removed them and added the few sensible applications which you found on Facebook. These include

1.Flixter – Review and rate movies and read reviews of others.
2.iLike – Browse for your favourite music and artists. Get information on the latest concerts and albums and dedicate songs to others
3.iRead – Just the same as Flixter but here it is all about books.
4.Causes – If you are interested in doing a bit of good in the world (yeah, yeah it’s John Mortimer ) then this is the place.
5.Fans – You happened to watch a match of ‘Manchester City’ by chance and just loved that player on the right wing. You are dead sure you are not going to see a match of this club again. What do you do? You go to this application and become a fan of him.

By this time, you realize that Facebook is beginning to pick up in your country and more and more of your friends are joining it every day. You are back to the phase you were in at the start of Orkut but only this time on a different platform.

I think a lot of things like "Earth" are round. Do you? No, that's not a philosphical musing. I am telling you about the future of this

Leia Mais…